dilk_n_cookies

So it's been quite a while since my last post and that has been because I have had absolutely nothing happen in my life worth posting. Also my camera broke and I am also broke so I cannot buy a new camera.

It was my dads 70th birthday on tuesday. My dad is old. Really old. All my life everyone has thought he was my grandpa. I remember being in kindergarten and having my friends ask why my grandpa always picks me up instead of my mom or dad. And I don't remember anything else from kindergarten except that exact incident. He was 47 when I was born, which is probably the age of everyones parents now.



But I guess this is a prime example of how age doesn't matter. It really is about how you feel and my dad is still kickin' like a baby fawn.

Onto other things, I am trying to get this new job at Mercury Filmworks. I go in for training/testing on March 6th and I am super nervous. Usually I don't get nervous but this is a job I would LOVE to have. It's working on a classically animated show. I mean, thats almost unheard of in Vancouver. When I went in for my interview I was so nervous that I started talking non-stop, really really fast. I have no idea what I was saying, at one point I was telling the guy that I had pink hair but I dyed it to make a good impression and later on I was talking about how my sewing machine broke so I had to buy all my weird clothes instead of making them. Needless to say, I pretty much realized that I came off as a total psycho but I guess I scared him into calling me back and asking me to come in. It kinda sucks to know how much I want this job because if I don't get it, I will be extremely crushed.

Which takes me to my recent mood swings. I don't know if it's PMS or what but I have been extremely lonely for the past week. I don't know why but I have been having nightmares of being old and alone. Eating dinner alone while everyone around is happy and talking and stuff. It might be because I saw this lady eating dinner all alone in a restaurant and she looked really sad. I interpreted it as loneliness but who knows what it could have been. It doesn't help that she had a resemblance to myself. Was that me in the future? I hope not... I have such great friends and everything but the reality is that everyone is busy as shit these days and I feel guilty even asking for a slice of their time. I guess I could get a boyfriend but it seems that everyone who is interested in me is either fat, slimy or a jerk. Or some combination of the three. And I am not gonna go out with guys who make me wanna puke in their faces no matter how desparate I get. So my conclusion is that I must grow to love being with myself so that I wont be so afraid to go to the movies alone when everyone else is busy.

So I think I will go ahead and watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind now. That always restores my faith in love and friendship and gives me a nice mushy feeling. I love inspiration that comes in the form of a DVD.

Damn, I'm really craving greek food...

maybe i should just give all this up and move to japan to be a professional harajuku girl. can you make money doing that?

but seriously, having my tarot cards read has stuck in my mind. nothing was overtly positive...im carrying a heavy burden, which could be true depending on how you interpret it, and the devil is lurking to my left. so apparently i need to bring someone or something else into my life to change things into more positive stuff. blah.

i was looking at my cousins friendster pages and its so sad how im only able to be with them for such short periods of my life. i see lots of pictures on there of events that i should have been a part of. it sucks when you have family far away.

what also sucks is when you start getting desparate. i am at that point in my job search. although, i think i should not just take any ol job that springs my way, so i will try to refrain myself from becoming a fry cook at burger king and see if anything else turns up.

desparation also sucks if you are desparate for a mate. i looked at some peoples pages on friendster and all they talked about was their "ideal mate" and past failed relationships. but i guess i cant really judge because i am only 23 and i will probably start feeling the pangs of desparation in about 5 years, when all your friends start getting married and poppin kids out.

which reminds me that i need to start planning my friends wedding and preparing for her first born child, which i will be the godmother of. hopefully, whoever is the godfather is hot, which will not really matter since god mother and fathers dont really have to associate with one another but still, one more hot peron in the world is not a bad thing.

another thing that isnt bad was the good ol halloween party at heewees. being a freak, i went as a harajuku girl...







you can also get a glimpse of how messy my room is in the back of that photo.



paper bags and fire. nothing bad has ever come from the combination of the two.

so thats that. off to write more cover letters and continue to let this "being a hobo" thing, eat away at me. oh, and being a professional harajuku girl would probably involve the phrase "no glove, no love."

so i got a job working on the set of "the L word". i start tomorrow at 4 am. this is interesting because i usually go to sleep at 3:30am. at least i will finally be making a tiny bit of money so i dont gotta feel so guilty begging my rentz for moolah. life goes on.

Your Style is 1980s

Bright colors, bigger than life patterns, and outrageous fashions. Your fashion style always has a retro yet futuristic edge.

You Are Homer Simpson

You're just an ordinary, all-American working Joe... With a special fondness for pork rinds and donuts. You will be remembered for: your little "isms" and philosophies on life Your life philosophy: "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated.

ok so i was bored. and that romantic prediction is bullshit. im gonna make a prediction that that prediction is totally bullshit.

anyways i am trying to get back into working out. i am so insanely out of shape these days, the fat jeans are getting tight. so its time to stop kidding myself and get back onto the treadmill, even though i still feel like im on vacation, cuz of the lack of job or school i guess.

it's so weird cuz my mom has started giving me money, like an allowance i guess. i havent asked my parents for money in years, its like im going back in time or something. i actually feel a bit ashamed but yeah, i need moolah so i take it anyway.

i just thought about how sweet it must be to live alone. you could walk around the house naked all the time, you would have no food in your fridge cuz you'd be too lazy to go grocery shopping which means you wouldnt pig out on your moms delicious cooking all the time, and you wouldnt feel judged for taking a lazy afternoon on the couch. unfortunately, being filipino means i will likelier than not never get to experience this. even if i moved to another city or country chances are i will have relatives or family friends there that my mom would make me stay with. im sure i will take this all back during a really lonely day where i end up having a lot of fun with my family or are really hungry and thank my lucky stars that some of my moms leftover chicken is still in the fridge.

aight, heres to me getting a non-bullshit job soon. i know, dont hold my breath.

and i dont mean that litterally but remember back in the day when we all used to have an asianavenue page? man...those were some messed up times i mean you'd be practically prostitutin urself out there in order to get a few hits so you could get a free white t shirt with a capital A surrounded by a circle on it. and you'd see those 3 people in your school who actually had one, which would make you want one even more and when you got home you would feverishly steal even more animated gif's and throw em on your page as if that would make a difference. plus you probably werent even old enough to be using the site so your age would be listed as 84 cuz you just selected a random year from the pull down box so you wouldnt have all those weird restrictions cuz you were only 14. well, id give anything to see my page again, unfortunately i have no idea what my username was etc. so i guess what i imagine, 23 dancing animated cat gifs surrounding the words "rachels page", is accurate enough for me.

and now the next bit of entertainment courtesy of bonnie:


as a young girl i always used to look in the mirror and think "if i only looked 55% like david copperfield i know everything would be alright" and sure enough, everything is alright.

yup yup yup, more fun funness going on. we had all you can eat sushi, meat and desserts yesterday. and it wasnt the crappy kind of all you can eat where you get food poisoning the next day. it was like the actual made out of food kind.

( pix ahoy! )

...is what i ate that made me poo poo and barf barf. i have been sooo sick :( but i think i am better now.

( anyways on to pix )

wow, the plane ride back to the philippines was such an ordeal. actually i should say getting onto the plane. the woman at the check in counter wouldnt let me board the plane because i didnt have my ticket leaving the philippines with me. of course i had my ticket to exit hong kong but apparently if you are a canadian citizen in order to enter a country you need to show proof that you will exit it. so retardedly enough i had to buy another ticket leaving the philippines just so i could enter it. the system sucks.

but now that i am here and my family has safely arrived its good times. we are just hanging out in laguna right now and we are leaving for our farm tomorrow morning. i will finally be able to leave the fast pace. its cool for about a week then you start getting really really bored. but hey, as long as i got my bro to hang out with now things should be awesome.

( now for some assorted family pix )

it took us a good hour to find a club where people actually dance. we went into 3 or 4 and the dance floors were empty at 12:30. it was so weird. i guess people here really only go to bubble tea and karaoke.

( onwards ho )

ok, good stuff. sooo tired from templing and buddaing yesterday. we had to walk up a million steps to go to get to buddah.

( anyways heres the pix )